It's been so long and I am so sorry.
Things have been out of control and I have been so ashamed I couldn't even bring myself to confide to you all.
I finally told C that I've had enough and can't be with him anymore. I've never been more depressed in my life, and resorted to the oldest of habits. Drinking, coke, and as many diet pills I can shove in my mouth. I reached rock bottom on sunday when I passed out and my friend took me to the hospital.
I thought I could forget, I thought the pain would go away.
I ate for the first time something other than a slimfast shake today. I felt ok but I can't shake this dark feeling.
I'm sorry this is short. I need some sleep.